In the past two weeks, I have become fascinated with dinosaurs. (No, it’s not because Jurassic Park is being reissued in 3D. I have never actually seen that entire movie, but I like Michael Chrichton‘s books. Always fun reads.) “What?” you say. “Why? Dinosaurs aren’t that cool. They are all dead.” I respectfully disagree. Dinosaurs are incredibly cool. Don’t believe me? Ask any five-year-old boy. Dinos are strange, alien-like creatures that capture the imagination. (If I were ever to come face-to-face with one, I might change my mind.) And I am going to argue that dinosaurs aren’t dead.
Yes, you read that right. Dinosaurs aren’t dead. They are quite alive, roaming the earth. You may very well be friends with a dinosaur right now and not even know it! You see, I feel that most humans have dino-like tendencies deep within the fabric of their beings. Lucky for you, I have compiled what I believe are the four main types of dinosaur friends you could potentially have in your life.
♦ The Tyrannosaurus Rex :
In Nature: The T-Rex was one of the most fearsome and powerful predators to ever have roamed the earth. At around 40 feet long, the T-Rex was a large scavenger who may have had cannibalistic tendencies. Despite what has been perpetuated in popular culture, the T-Rex was actually rather slow for its size and could probably only run at a maximum speed of 15 mph. Turning around or from side to side was very difficult for these creatures.
In Today’s Society: Known as the T-Frex, short for Tyrant Friend-Rex, we all have this friend. They tend to get a hold of one idea and refuse to change their mind. Turning around or changing course is not an option for the T-Frex. It’s their way or the highway. Perhaps they have a reputation that precedes them. In the end, it turns out that their bark is much worse than their bite. These friends, who may or may not have extremely short arms, are very goal-oriented and will stop at nothing to succeed.
In Nature: Triceratops are famous for their three horns located on their face. Scientists speculate that these horns were used for many reasons, such as self-defense, identification and dominance displays. Triceratops also had a frill around their head, the purpose of which is unknown. These animals were herbivores who are low-growth plants because of the limited range of motion in their necks. They also had very thick skulls, which when coupled with the horns, meant that their heads were very heavy.
In Today’s Society: Called the TriTop or the Common Hipster. This friend is very trendy. They have something that instantly sets them apart from others: a streak of color in their hair, a piercing, a tattoo, etc. They express themselves through their appearance and can identify others by their appearances as well. The TriTop friend tends to aim low in life and sets easily attainable goals. These thick-headed people can aggravate you with their lack of ambition or dreams. However, they are very loyal and will always know a good place to grab an organic coffee.
In Nature: This species of dinosaur was misclassified in the beginning. While technically now called an ‘apatosaurus,’ popular culture can’t get rid of the term ‘brontosaurus.’ Scientists can’t quite figure out how this immensely large animal could carry out physiological functions required to live. At around 75 feet long, the hearts of these animals would have had to work overtime in order to transverse its long neck and pump blood to the brain. These animals also lacked a diaphragm, so their breathing habits are unknown. Despite these limitations, it is thought that this animal could move its tail very quickly and make a cracking noise, like a whip.
In Today’s Society: The bro-a-saurus is that person you just can’t seem to figure out. What makes them tick? What are their goals, dreams, beliefs and aspirations? How do they function? Nobody knows! These people can be quite difficult to have as friends. You think you know who they are, but then a new discovery or revelation brings you back to the drawing board. Despite the frustrations associated with a bro-a-saurus, stick it out. They keep things interesting and will ensure you are always kept on your toes. That being said, beware being drawn to them because they are a challenge or a puzzle. They can quickly lose their temper if found our you are using them for your own personal psychological experiment.
In Nature: This smaller dinosaur was more bird-like, characterized by a duck-like bill. It also had a spiky crest on the back of its skull, which was likely a hollow space used for thermoregulation. This creature was bi- or quadrupedal For those of you not scientifically inclined, that means on two or four feet. A herbivore at heart, the saurolophus did not chew its food. Rather, it ground its mandibles together in a grinding motion. Because of the frequent grinding motion, its teeth were constantly falling out and being replaced, much like those of a modern shark. Scientists speculate that they were “cathameral,” or active for many short periods throughout the day.
In Today’s Society: This is the stressed out yet versatile friend. They can maneuver any sticky situation and function in many different situations. However, they are generally always stressed out, perhaps even grinding their teeth. The Saurolophus friend is constantly on edge, perhaps a creative type. They often get excited for brief moments about certain ideas, then get easily overwhelmed and stop progress on a project until their next caffeine fix. The saurolophus friend is a neurotic social butterfly who will know everyone.
What do you think? Are these accurate depictions? Did I leave out any major dinosaur category? Which one are you?
All information in the article comes from Wikipedia, that great fount of knowledge on the internet.